


dancing on my own

by excorde (constant)



Category: Lee Hi (Musician), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, alexa play best friend by ikon, best friends au, who even allowed fluff and angst to come together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constant/pseuds/excorde
Summary: "Do you want me to stay?" He whispers."No.""Okay." Hanbin nods his head. "Okay, I'll stay."Or: Hayi's dying from menstrual cramps, and she didn't ask for Hanbin to come over, but he's here somehow. And when she asks him to leave, he stays anyway.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Lee Hayi | Lee Hi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	dancing on my own

_Hot water_. 

That's all Hayi could think about right now. 

Hot water pressing against her skin - specifically on her lower abdomen. The moment she imagines soothing herself from the pain, hell fire shoots in her belly, like a streak of knife slashes making her cry out in agony. 

"Hurry. _Up_." She groans, fixing her gaze on the kettle, as if her deadly stare would be of any help to speed up its heating. Hunching over the kitchen counter, Hayi places one hand over her lower back. Christ, it feels like the upper half of her body is about to detach itself any moment. Now that she thinks about it, that might just be a better remedy if it means getting rid of the pain completely. 

It shoots up again. 

_Needles_. Like a thousand needles prickling at her abdomen. An aching back. Sore legs. Throbbing head. Fortunately, she’s not nauseated, otherwise Hayi wouldn’t even be found getting on her feet. 

Finally, the green light turns up on the kettle and Hayi immediately pours herself a cup. She briskly soaks a towel in the hot water, burning her hand in the process. (She brushes the burn away easily. The cramps are really making an effect on her pain tolerance.) Then, she fills a glass bottle with the water and takes it together with the towel to her room. 

As soon as she lays on her bed, she places the damp towel on her forehead. For the headache. She tucks herself under the blanket, then gently presses the glass bottle filled with hot water on her belly. 

Now, only if she could get some sleep. When she wakes up later, she knows she's going to feel a whole lot better. 

Hayi is just dozing off when she hears the doorbell ring. 

_Ugh._

She rolls on her side, groaning. The doorbell rings again. 

"Go away!" She yells. 

Another ring. Hayi forces herself to sit up, the towel rolling off from her head. She decides to leave it there on her bed, but clutches on the bottle and presses it to her belly tightly as she makes her way out of the room, towards the front door. 

Another ring. 

"For fuck's sake." She mutters, irritated. 

She's still a bit disoriented when she opens the door. It takes a couple of seconds for her eyes to focus on the man standing before her. When she recognizes who it was, she slams the door shut but it doesn't make it all the way. 

The man screams. "Aw! H-hey!" 

"Go away!" 

"You weren't answering my calls! Aw! Will you let me _in?_ " 

Hayi doesn't really have the strength to argue further, so she lets go of the door and makes her way back to her room, leaving the man to himself. 

" _Yi!_ " 

She hears footsteps following behind her after the front door clicks in haste. 

"What are you doing here, Hanbin? I told you, I can't work on that bloody project now." 

"Yeah, I know. And I also know what you meant when you sent that red circle emoji at the end of your message." 

Hayi reaches her room and she's not surprised when Hanbin follows behind her uninvited. It isn't her friend's first time in her room anyway. Hanbin's sudden visit makes Hayi forget about her pain for a quick moment, but now that she has thrown herself back on the bed, she feels her body crumbling again. 

Hanbin stands before her, taking her in. Hayi doesn't really like it when someone's watching her. Studying her. Especially not in the circumstances where she's at her most vulnerable. If she had the strength, she would have told him to fuck off, pushing him out of her room, out of her apartment. But for now, she lets him be. 

Hanbin finds the damp towel amidst the pillows and sheets, presses it gently on her forehead, then tucks her in with the blanket. 

With half-closed eyes, Hayi tells him, "Go away." 

Instead of doing what he's asked, Hanbin kneels by her bedside. "You look like shit." 

Hayi ignores him, too sick to retaliate. And besides, Hayi has a strong feeling that he’s right. 

"Does this happen every month?" 

“What do you mean?” 

“You getting sick.” 

"Not every month." 

Hanbin nods, his eyes warily regarding her fragile state. “I remember when we were 17. You almost fainted. Your mom was worried sick.” 

Hayi grins weakly at the memory. “Don’t worry. I’m no near fainting right now if that’s what you’re wondering. And if I am, I can just do it right here. On my bed.” 

The silence stretches between them. Hayi doesn’t know how long it has been since Hanbin decided to keep on watching her silently like a weirdo. The warmth from the bottle is soothing her good, and the comfort of her bed is lulling her off to dreamland. She is just about to drift off when she feels the urge to snap her eyes open, seeing Hanbin unmoved from his kneeling position, still watching her. 

"Do you want me to stay?" He whispers.

"No." 

"Okay." Hanbin nods his head. "Okay, I'll stay." 

Hayi huffs out in annoyance. "Seriously, Bin. Go away." 

"But who's gonna take care of you?" 

"I can take care of myself just fine. See this-?" She holds up the glass bottle with the warm water, "-and this?" She points at the towel on her forehead. "All me." 

There's a pause between them again. Hayi is not sure if he's just carefully picking out the right things to say, or just hesitating. 

"Didn't you send me that text as a hint that you need someone to be with you right now?" 

Hayi couldn't help laughing. 

"No, you idiot. I just laid out the honest reason why I can't work on the project right now." 

"Oh." 

Pause again. Hayi looks at him and sees that he's scratching at the bed sheets. Then he looks up, meets her eyes, and asks, "So you don't need me?" 

Hayi smiles in spite of herself. "No, Bin. But thanks for coming anyway." 

Hanbin returns the gesture in a tight lipped smile. "Get some rest now." He finally stands up, heading towards the door. Hayi feels a surge of relief, now that she knows there isn't anyone watching her anymore. She closes her eyes again. 

"Just in case you change your mind," Hanbin says softly. Hayi can tell from the sound of his voice that he's at the door now. "I'll be in the living room if you need me." 

The door closes in a gentle click, and Hayi finally drifts off to sleep with a soft smile on her face. 

  
  


When she wakes up a couple of hours later, her headache is gone and so are the needles prickling at her belly. Her back is still a little sore, but it's a bit more tolerable now that the rest of the pain is gone. 

She heads out of the room, confused when she hears the gentle buzz of the television. Then she remembers. 

Ah, Hanbin. 

Hayi takes a quick trip to the bathroom first before making her way towards the living room. Hanbin perks up when he hears her shuffling into the room. "Hey."

"Hey." She says back with a small smile.

"Did the noise wake you?" 

"Yeah." She lies, then laughs when a flash of guilt passes on Hanbin's face. "I'm kidding. You're fine." 

There is plenty of room on the couch but Hayi chooses to sit on the spot next to him. She doesn't notice him stiffening up, her attention focused on the plastic bag on the table in front of them. 

"Did you go out shopping?" 

Hanbin seems to have snapped out of his little daze. "Oh! Yeah, yeah. Went on a little convenience run while you were asleep."

Hayi rummages through the bag, then laughs when she sees what is in it. 

Hanbin scratches his nape, looking embarrassed. "I didn't know what kind you preferred." 

"So, you bought one of each kind available?" Hayi asks in disbelief, even though the answer is right there in the bag. Christ, these pads could last her the entire year. 

Hayi looks up at him. Her mood's definitely a whole lot better now, and she knows it's only partly because of the nap she took. "You didn't have to, Bin." She bites her tongue. She almost told him that she has a stock of pads in her bathroom which she fills whenever she goes out for groceries. It's a method that her mother has taught her so she wouldn't run out. It's especially helpful now that she's living alone. 

"But thank you. I appreciate it." 

Hanbin smiles for the first time today. Teeth and all. 

"Oh, I also bought ice cream! It's in the fridge." 

Hayi's face sours. 

Hanbin blinks. "You don't like ice cream? I thought it's what girls eat during the time of the month." 

"No, it's for when they're sad. You know, like an after break up consolation treat. Sort of. Cold treats actually make the cramps worse."

"Oh." 

Hayi pulls her legs up on the couch and shuffles closer towards the man. Hanbin feels very warm and Hayi's just so attracted to everything that exudes warmth right now. 

"Is that why the air conditioner was turned down? Oh shit, Hayi, I'm sorry. I didn't know." 

Hayi chuckles. She already figured that Hanbin lowered the temperature in the room, but she doesn't really mind. Hanbin ruffles his hair, a frustrated expression on his face. 

“I come here uninvited hoping to lend you a hand but all I’ve done so far is make a mess.” 

“Hey, now. That’s not true.” 

Hanbin looks up at her with his eyes, his chin jutted towards his chest. With his defeated expression, this makes him look like he’s pouting. 

She feels another shot in her belly again, but it isn’t the needles this time. This oddly feels akin to... _fluttering_. "It's all right, really. I’m a whole lot better now, though I think I might have to save the ice cream for tomorrow."

This time, Hanbin actually pouts. 

“Really?” 

Hayi laughs. “Yes, really.” 

In a flash, Hanbin’s face brightens up. He suddenly stretches his arms towards her. "Come here." 

Hayi falls right into him, nuzzling her head on his chest. Hanbin tentatively wraps her arms around her. _He's so warm._

"Can you tell me a story?" 

"Isn't that movie already telling you one?" He motions at the tv. 

Hayi moves away from him for a second, reaches for the remote, then turns the television off. She falls back in his arms, this time, wrapping her arms around his torso. 

"Tell me a story." 

Hanbin chuckles lightly, feeling his chest vibrate against the side of her face.

“Do you know about the original story of the little mermaid?” 

“What about it?” 

“It basically started the same as the modern version. The little mermaid falls in love with the prince and asks the sea witch to give her legs in exchange for her voice.”

“Ursula.” She mutters under her breath. 

Hanbin lets out a soft chuckle. “Yes, Ursula. Anyway, in the original story, she was only granted to live if she ends up marrying the prince. But the prince-” Hanbin pauses, squeezing Hayi’s shoulder lightly. With a toned down voice, he continues, “The prince was in love with somebody else.” 

Hayi gasps, even though she has already been expecting it. “No.” 

“The prince ended up marrying somebody else. The worst part is, the little mermaid even had to dance at the prince’s wedding, you know, because she now has the feet for it.” 

“Man, that’s some _Calum Scott_ level of heartbreak.” 

Hanbin laughs, presumably understanding the reference. “Wait, it’s not over yet. The little mermaid was given the chance to become a mermaid again…” He trails off dramatically. 

“But?” Hayi presses on. 

“ _But_ -” Hanbin continues, voice growing soft,”-she’s gonna have to kill the prince.” He reaches out for one of Hayi’s hand then starts playing with her fingers. “The little mermaid stood in front of the prince’s bed on the night she decided to kill him.” 

“Hesitating?” 

“Hesitating. And crying. She was crying and crying, weighing out her options. She wants to live so badly, to get back to her life with her sisters and her father, but she didn’t really have the heart to take away the life of her only love.” 

Hayi starts to feel her gaze clouding. She holds on to Hanbin’s forefinger. He lets her.

“But she just loved him too much, you know? She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Even if he was being a total asshole to her the entire time, she still chose his happiness over hers. She still chose his life over hers…” 

Hanbin takes a pause again, while Hayi struggles to keep her tears in. After hearing a little sniff from her, Hanbin lifts her chin up, and Hayi quickly turns away. Hanbin laughs. 

“So, did she die?” asks Hayi in a choked voice, choosing to ignore Hanbin who has now taken an amusement in her emotional reaction.

“Mermaids don’t have souls like humans do. When they die, they turn into foam. So the little mermaid, she-” Hanbin comes into an abrupt halt when Hayi reaches out and clasps a hand over his mouth. 

“Okay, enough. I am _never_ asking you to tell me a story again. That was- ack! Ew, did you just lick me?”

Hanbin wastes no time. He runs for his life. Hayi runs after him, spewing out words that are probably too unpleasant for a child to hear. Hanbin circles around the dining table a couple of times, Hayi hot on his trail. 

“Catch me if you can!” 

He sprints back to the living room, stepping over the couch to widen their gap quickly. 

“Don’t step on my couch!” Hayi yells, outraged by the image of Hanbin’s sock leaving unhygienic marks on her furniture. This sets the woman off by a notch, and Hanbin runs around screaming for his life. There’s no other way out of it. Even if it poses an even bigger threat later, Hanbin doesn’t care. What matters is _now_. 

He heads towards her bedroom. Hayi misses him by an inch, the door closing in front of her just in time. 

“I’m gonna kill you!” 

“I’m gonna live here forever!” 

Hayi leans her back against the door, taking a moment to catch her breath. Just another normal day when you're best friends with Kim Hanbin. One moment he's squeezing tears out of your eyes while holding your hand, the next he'd be sticking his tongue out at you childishly. She’s never going to admit it, but that whole running around might just be the exercise she needed. For some reason, it made her feel better physically.

Hayi gives him a few seconds to give up. When she doesn’t hear from him after a minute, she starts to grow suspicious. 

“All right. You can come out now.” 

Silence.

“Hey, what are you up to?” Hayi presses her ear against the door, but it does no good. She doesn’t hear anything. 

“Hanbin! If you’re going through my underwear drawer, I swear to heaven! Hey, open the door!” 

Hanbin doesn’t open the door, but he starts to speak up at least. 

“Hey, you have like a thousand messages.” 

Hayi sighs. Her phone. 

“And they’re all from your boyfriend.” 

Hayi huffs air out of her chest again, leaning her forehead against the door. “Shit.” 

“Did you guys fight again?” Hanbin’s voice sounds closer this time, almost as though he’s pressed up against the door just like she is. 

“No, it’s nothing. I just-” 

_Heavy_. Now that her boyfriend has started to cross her mind again, Hayi starts to feel it again. Suddenly, she’s struggling. She doesn’t know about what exactly. To find the right words? The right thoughts, the right feelings? She doesn’t know. 

“I just didn’t want him to worry about me.” 

“Clearly, that didn’t work.”

 _Yeah_ . She wanted to say. _Whatever_. She wanted to say. 

“Does he know that you’re on your period?” 

Hayi falters. “Um-” What is Hanbin on to now? 

“Does he know that you were in pain a few hours ago?” There’s an edge to his voice now, and Hayi’s worried that this is going to be another one of his lectures again. 

Hayi doesn’t respond, but he presses on. 

“Does he know that you were practically dying a few hours ago?” 

“I wasn’t _dying_!” 

“And what did he do? Send you cheerful messages?” 

Hayi groans. “Bin, he’s my _boyfriend_ , not my personal nurse. And besides, I wasn’t _dying_ , as you put it. I do not need anyone to take care of me.” 

Hanbin remains silent on the other side. It’s quite difficult to hold an argument when you can’t see the other person’s face.

“Bin, really. It’s nothing! I told him that I can fend for myself, that he didn’t need to come.” 

When Hanbin speaks up, his voice is more toned down, but there is still something in it that Hayi can’t quite fathom. “You told me the same thing too. But I’m here, aren’t I?” 

“Well, you’re-” She closes her mouth, hesitating. “You’re different.” 

“ _Different_.” 

Softly, she says, “You’re my best friend.” 

“Best friend.” 

_Needles_. That was it. That’s what she keeps hearing in Hanbin’s voice. 

“That’s all I ever will be to you, right?” 

Hayi feels as though a cold bucket of water was just poured all over her. “What?” 

“Best friend.” Hanbin repeats again, his voice strained. Tired. Like a thousand needles has been prickling him this whole time. “When will you look at me, Yi? I mean, you see me almost every day. But you don’t _look_ at me, you know?” 

“Hanbin, are you…” Is this what she thinks it is? Is Hanbin confessing? Her mind is reeling before she knows it. It goes back and forth at two opposing sides, telling her that yes. Yes, Hanbin’s confessing, you idiot. While the other tells her that she’s just being ridiculous. No. She’s not going to fall for it until she sees the expression on his face. 

“Will you open the door?” 

Her heart jumps to her throat when she sees the doorknob turning. Then slowly - almost dramatically - the door opens. 

“It’s a prank!”

Hanbin whoops his way out of the room, heading towards the living room in heaps of laughter. Hayi is left standing on her spot, watching after him as her brain processes what’s happening. 

Then: “I’m gonna kill you!” 

“You already said that!” 

“I didn’t mean it then!” 

And just like that, they start chasing each other around the apartment once more. Literally. 

Figuratively, there’s only one person doing the chasing. It goes all the way back to when they were only 15 years old. 

**Author's Note:**

> It wasn't a prank.


End file.
